I’ve been getting a lot of flack lately from friends and family. People say I am heartless, or that I am a Scrooge… and I don’t think that I am either. I just dislike Christmas. So I thought that I would take the time out of my day to write a little note to tell everyone why. Let’s clear the air…

First of all, anyone who actually likes Christmas music is not only lying to anyone they come in contact with, but they are also lying to themselves. Christmas music sucks. It is incredibly annoying and gets stuck in your head and then you’re writing a final exam and instead of remembering the content of your course… you are singing Santa Baby under your breath. Not cool! And I don’t know about you guys, but I think that Santa Baby might be a little erotic for children to be listening to…

While on the topic of Christmas songs, have you listened to the lyrics! Santa Baby is about a gold digger trying to seduce a fat man in a red suit! I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus… now if Santa is considered not to be real in this song and its just a naïve child singing – sure its all good… but if Santa is considered real… the child’s mother is cheating on their father and the child is perfectly okay with it. They even joke saying “Oh what a laugh it would have been / If Daddy had only seen / Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!” Kid, that would not have been funny at all. All I get from this song is that Santa is a home-wrecker. One more song, because three is a good number, You Better Watch Out. CREEPER ALERT! Hey kids, Santa knows when you’re sleeping and when you’re awake and when you’re bad or when you’re good, he knows if you ate your green vegetables and probably if you changed your underwear today. It’s creepy how much your friendly little Santa Claus knows about you. It also teaches kids that it’s bad to cry… sometimes its okay to cry! Just saying…

Anyway, enough with my rant on Christmas music. Not all the songs are bad, I think what gets me is that they start in November. A little too early for me. The music is definitely not why I dislike Christmas though. It is the commercialization of Christmas. I am not one to say “bring it back to being all about Jesus!” because that’s not the kind of guy that I am. Jesus is my homeboy, its all cool, but Christmas should be about getting together with family and friends, throwing all worries and problems aside and just letting the world stop around you for a few days. I hate the idea of buying and giving gifts. If there needs to be gifts for your Christmas… does it have to be so big? This endless rollercoaster of consumption has the world headed for disaster. We buy, things break, we throw out, we buy more, shit breaks again, we throw out, we still think that we should buy, it works well for a while, newer model comes out, we throw out, we buy… and it continues. Meanwhile our landfills are filling up; toxic waste is entering our environment, polluting cities, and killing wildlife. For that reason alone I say down with Christmas. Christmas isn’t about going to your grandmother’s house to relish in a warm loving atmosphere and eating the most delicious meal you have tasted all year anymore… its about Black Friday after Thanksgiving, and Boxing Day Sales. It seems to be more of a spending frenzy than enjoying what really matters.

This Christmas, I’m not buying presents (stfu it’s not because I’m poor!! lol it totally is but regardless)… I’m going to be giving out hugs… and guess what – they are environmentally friendly, they contribute nothing to the evil machine called Corporate America, and it’s better than any materialistic item that will end up in a landfill, wrapped in paper that came from cut down forests just for the purpose of concealing an item to be torn to shreds and thrown out (doubtfully recycled) and it’s also free. So the next person that calls me a Scrooge, or heartless, just remember it’s because of people like you that Polar Bears and Penguins are dying. Who are the heartless ones now?

And if I say “Merry Christmas” to you… please do not reply “I thought you hate Christmas?!” I never used the word “hate” in reference to Christmas… and if I hate anything… it is what Christmas has become, not the initial idea behind the holiday. So are we all cool now you animal hating over-consuming environment killer friends of mine?!

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