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Remember when you were a child? When you played outside and made up your own games? Not everyone from my generation did this. Most have been consumed by video games from a young age. But I have been sitting, thinking to myself today: “what happened to me?” Instead of making my own games and having fun outside, I am making my own video game maps and killing zombies online (which come on, its probably good practice for the inevitable… but still.) I sleep until noon, I work, I spend too much time on msn “chatting” or on Facebook, but when do I go outside? Today I decided I would go outside for a morning coffee at the bright hour of 1130am and it really hit me. I forget the games I played as a child. I remember a summer where I biked into town every day with my mother (we live in the county so its quite a bike ride before you get to town), and I remember swimming in my pool and racing to find loonies my father threw to the bottom. But what else did I do? What else did I play? Is this what growing up is about – losing your imagination, your creativity, your childhood memories, your innocence?

As I am writing this right now (on pen and paper), I am listening to the neighbourhood children pretend to be roosters… random, I know, but how fun! I am sure they are laughing and having an awesome time! If I were to do this though, what would people say and think about me? Isn’t that a question you never asked as a child…

I am sitting and looking at the clouds. So fluffy and white. They don’t seem to turn into animals and dance for me anymore. My skin is starting to burn a little bit, but as sadistic as it sounds, I like it – it makes me feel a little more alive. The wind blows gently in my face… everything is so simple outside. The chaos from my day to day life seems unnecessary and unimportant. I know I have to return to the chaos, but everything inside me is telling me not to – to stay. Is that the child inside of me, crying out for attention? I just want to see the clouds dance once more. Is this growing up? I guess we all just keep keeping on anyway…

AnarchistParty