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If I ever have a child, I will name it Typhon. That is assuming I rear a male. I think it is a good name, because it says, “I am strong, like a Greek sea monster!” Typhon was one of the largest and most fearsome of all creatures. His human upper half reached as high as the stars. His hands reached east and west and had a hundred dragon heads on each. His bottom half was gigantic viper coils that could reach the top of his head when stretched out and made a hissing noise. His whole body was covered in wings, and fire flashed from his eyes. The name screams bad-ass. Typhon was also defeated by Zeus and trapped underneath Mount Etna. This keeps my child with a level headed ego. He knows he is awesome (at least I hope that any child of mine would inherit my awesomeness), but he knows his place too.

If I rear a female, I would probably name her Astrid. This is obviously because of Astrid Njalsdotter, who was a Viking queen in Sweden from 1050-1060. Next to Queen Elizabeth II, Queen Astrid Njalsdotter is probably my favorite Queen. Don’t ask me why, she just is.

I like unique names. I am not the kind of guy that will change a common name like Jeffery into Geoffrey, or Ashley into Ashleigh for uniqueness. No. I think there are some damn fantastic names out there that people just never think to use. Instead of naming a child Banaing (which means son of the slayer), or Bardalph (which means Axe Wolf), a kid gets stuck with Bob. And I am sorry if you are reading this and your name is Bob, but Bob isn’t bad-ass, Bob is lazy, and Bob’s parents were definitely lazy when they were naming him.

“Gladys! What do we want to name this thing?!”

“Meh – Bob works.”

That was probably the dialogue his parents had.

Don’t get me wrong though, Bob does work. But do you want a name that just works? Or do you want a name that says, “I am going to kick ass and I won’t be taking no for an answer.” That’s the way I see it anyway. I am not hating on the Bob’s of the world though, I mean you don’t get to choose your name. But there are other names out there that are a little bland. How about John, Bill, Tom, or Mike (Michael), Mary, Susan, Betty, or Bertha! Those are pretty boring too.  

Keep on keeping on, even if you have a boring name.

Until next time,


Meet Bob.













Meet Batman.